Well, my post yesterday entitled “‘Good’ Food/’Bad’ Food – How Do We Teach Healthful Eating Without Driving Our Kids Nuts?” certainly generated quite a lot of reader response! So much so that I thought it would be worth circling back today for more discussion.
First of all, I’ve apologized off-line to Lenee, the reader whose comment appears first in yesterday’s post, in case she felt that I took her original quote out of context or seemed to intentionally set her up for attack by other readers. She’s already graciously assured me that there are no hard feelings.
If you read the string of comments that followed yesterday’s post – and I suggest you do, as they’re well worth reading — I think you’ll see that the reader dispute is really more an issue of semantics versus underlying philosophy. All of the readers who commented on the post seem to be in general agreement that high-fat foods like fettucine Alfredo, brownies and the like can and should be part of any child’s (and any adult’s) diet. We all agree that there are no per se “bad” foods (except maybe, the dreaded Candwich).
The problem — and this is exactly what I was trying to get at in my first post — is how do we teach kids moderation without creating invalid (and potentially damaging) distinctions? What words do we use?
Categorizing foods as “good” and “bad” can set children up for all sorts of problems, including, as one reader mentioned, a desire to wildly gorge on forbidden “bad” foods at the first opportunity. But I believe (and this is where some readers may get off my boat) that we have to use some kind of language to explain that certain foods can be freely enjoyed while others ought to be consumed only in moderation. ”Healthful” and “less healthful”? “Foods we eat all the time” versus “special treats”? ”Go, Slow and Whoa“?
I also think part of the problem is that, to my mind, at least, there are two distinct universes of “less healthful” food. There’s the high-fat or high-sugar item made of entirely recognizable ingredients, like the reader examples of fried chicken, fettucine Alfredo or homemade brownies. And then there’s that category of highly processed, chemical-filled “food,” some of which our great-grandmothers wouldn’t necessarily even recognize as edible (to paraphrase Michael Pollan). I’m talking about most fast food, the 51-ingredient Uncrustable, fluorescent blue “fruit” snacks, Flaming Hot Cheetos, and all the rest.
I don’t forbid my children from eating anything, but I want them to understand that the former category is a delicious part of life, to be indulged with gusto (though not as the mainstay of your daily diet), while the latter category consists of curious novelties that can be sampled now and then, but which ought to be generally avoided. So that’s just one more layer of complexity to grapple with.
Maybe the reader named Lindsey got it right when she said that “our children will learn what we want them to by modeling our behavior.” For better or worse, how we eat probably teaches our children far more than any labels we may or may not attach to food. Along those lines, I encourage readers to look at Lenee’s full explanation of how she raised her own two children (now adults) to have what sounds like the ideal relationship with food.
It’s so gratifying as a blogger to generate such thoughtful and passionate discussion with a single blog post. Thank you to all Lunch Tray readers who commented, or who will comment, on this tricky topic.
Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2011 Bettina Elias Siegel
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
THANK YOU for your take on this subject, as well as your clarification on your intent, which I’ve stated to you off-line, I understood from the beginning.
I agree that it is such a fine line between educating our children and creating the ‘forbidden fruit.’ My mother never allowed us to eat sugar and I would chose whose houses to visit or sleep over by what snacks their mom’s served and who had sugar cereals for breakfast. This later evolved into being a closet-eater and many subsequent food issues.
So when it became my turn to be the mom, I really stuggled. I strived for the 80/20 rule. If I fed them healthy at home I thought I would feel fine letting them splurge at parties etc. However, I was not prepared for the onslaught of junk a weekend could involve.
Let’s start with a soccer game in the morning that is filled with sideline snacks for every toddler who is there to watch the game…everything from gummie bears to cookies and juice, followed by the after-soccer snack which always seemed to be some version of oreos and kool-aide/gatorade. (and it is now the norm to hand out snacks to siblings as well)
This was always followed by an invitation to join other families at McDonalds to kill time before the “birthday party.” (Please note that pre-schoolers average 1-3 parties per weekend in our neighborhood)
The birthday parties usually involve pizza, chips, cake (with frightengly bright -colored frosting), fruit punch/kool-aid. This I could have swallowed since because it “is a party” but I start getting the shakes when we then do a pinatta filled with candy and are sent home with a ‘goodie-bag’ filled with more crap-candy loaded with artificial food coloring and high fructose corn syrup!
I went along for a few years because I didn’t want to be labeled the “health nut” mom, but eventually I snapped. I could see the dramatic change in my daughter’s mood and energy after eating so much junk and I know how crappy I feel when I eat junk for an entire day.
Slowly I have very gradually and subtly educated those around me and I am amazed at the shift that has taken place. We have actually reached a sort of ‘tipping point’ where I do not sit at any party or game where the conversation does not lead to a story where a mom is appalled at what they are serving at school or how they refused to let their child drink the bright blue gaterade following a soccer game . A mom who knows me might give me a ‘look’ and I can honestly say “I swear..I didn’t bring it up!!”
It only took 2 conversations…one with the head of or Parks and Recreation Department and one with the principle…and major changes have are starting to be made. Both are moving towards replacing treats with healty snacks. I was amazed how receptive everyone is. But it is an uphill battle, even when the people in charge are on board because so many mom’s associate “fun” with “treats”-and unfortunately the bigger and brighter the better!
Debbie: Thanks for sharing your story here. You’ve experienced exactly what I’ve found, too: you’re not at all opposed to “treats” but when every activity in a child’s day offers treats, you tally up the day’s diet and realize it was 85% junk. I’m so glad to hear that your efforts were met with support from other parents — that’s not always the case. Please keep us posted! – Bettina
{ 2 trackbacks }