I once attended a conference for food advocates from all over the country and one of the break-out sessions was specifically for those of us working in politically conservative states. The joke was that wine and sympathetic hugs would be on offer as we shared our sob stories with each other.
That experience reminded me of a TLT reader, whom I’ll call Ellen, who wrote to me a few months ago seeking my help. I actually shared a bit of Ellen’s story in my new (free!) 40-page ebook, The Lunch Tray’s Guide to Getting Junk Food Out of Your Child’s Classroom. I wrote:
While parents should feel free to advocate for the healthiest classroom environment possible, there may come a point when you hit the limits of what your particular community will accept. Here’s what I mean:
You might live in a health-conscious, progressive city and/or your children might attend a school (public or private) in which the parent community is well educated about nutrition — or at least open to nutrition education. Or you might be like one Lunch Tray reader who recently wrote to me in despair. In the small, rural area in which she lives, the school is awash in junk food for every occasion, from parties to fundraisers. Overweight children in her community are generally looked upon as “healthier” than children of normal weight (who are called “pencil-necked” or “beanpole”), and a fellow PTA member once literally told her, “We don’t care about nutrition!”
If you live in the former environment, asking fellow parents to bring in only organic, locally-grown fruits and vegetables for birthdays might be met with excited enthusiasm. In the latter environment, it might get you run out of town by an angry mob.
When I corresponded with Ellen I promised to share her story on the blog to solicit advice from other readers, and I’m doing that belatedly today. Here are the other pieces to her story:
Fifty percent of the kids in her rural district are on free or reduced price lunch. At first she was told outright that the district had no wellness policy, but she was intrepid in trying to locate it:
After speaking with the Superintendent’s office twice, several elementary teachers (including P.E. teacher), and the District School Nurse, I called the Students Services Director in the Superintendent’s office- they put me on speakerphone to have me explain to them what a wellness plan is. Then said they’d look around and get back with me. Sure enough, they found one! Or what they’re calling one. I now have a hard copy in my possession.
The wellness policy, like most policies written when they were first mandated back in 2004, is quite weak (more on that in my ebook) and the district isn’t even complying with its own low standards. For example, the policy encourages teachers to solicit healthy food for classroom use, yet on her own child’s class supply list parents were asked to bring “a bag of candy” for use as rewards. She also says preschoolers in the district are given snacks like “brownies, cupcakes, chocolate pudding and pop tarts.”
Ellen has spoken about this a PTO meeting (where she was told, “We don’t care about nutrition!”), she has attended a board meeting to learn more about her district’s policies, and she has taken a school tour with her principal to discuss these issues. Here’s how the talk with the principal went:
When I brought up the idea of wellness, nutrition and obesity, he scoffed and said he didn’t believe in BMI, and said, “Look at Shaquille O’Neil!”. . . . He told me that they don’t really have many celebrations anyway- He said “Just Christmas parties and Valentines, not Easter… Oh except the Kindergarteners and 1st grade- they go to the Nursing Home for an Egg Hunt.” I just nodded and kept to myself the other celebrations that I know are occurring- Halloween parties in each classroom from 1:30-2:30 today (listed on the website), Veterans Day Breakfast (mentioned at the PTO meeting, planning who will supply the donuts), Donuts with dads, Muffins with Moms (mentioned at the PTO meeting).
Ellen and I have talked about the importance of finding fellow parents who can stand with her in this effort, but she writes:
I would like to try to change my own school district, and have looked for allies, but have come up with no one. Not one person who is willing to help or even feels there’s a problem.
She and I have talked about other things she can do, including seeking support outside the school environment from health professionals and community leaders. We also talked about how the new USDA wellness policy rules will require schools to be more proactive about student health, including having to report on their progress each year in meeting specific health-related goals. All of that said, though, I fully recognize that sometimes a school or district is just so mired in the junk food Stone Age, even these sorts of external pressures won’t do much good.
But before Ellen throws up her hands in defeat or moves her kids to another district (something she’s considering), I told her I’d share her story here. Any additional advice, TLTers? Please share your thoughts in a comment below or on TLT’s Facebook page.
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Cathy Donovan says
This could be our district. Our elementary school meets criterion for all to get free lunch. So first question would be how much of this is financial. You need to know what you’re up against and if the parents can’t afford to send non organic fruit to school you need to know that. You need to be able to speak the same language as the PTO. Second how about other organizations that care for these kids. Our kids/families have had nutritional and cooking education in summer and after school programs run by community ed and in Early Childhood. That’s been a good start. Third, decide if you can step up. Can you and your children survive you sending healthy food when junk is requested. Can you send pencils for Halloween etc? For my oldest-nope we couldn’t, for the youngest climate had changed just enough ((7 yrs in between). Finally consider working within the wellness policy now. Pressing the school and teachers to abide by that and the Federal guidelines. Change comes slowly. Our school seems to have gone from 1/3 of kindergarteners obese to closer to 1/5. This is great news. It comes from efforts on many fronts but if you move too fast you scare off the parents/staff and then you make no progress. Don’t let perfect be the enemy of the better.
Lea says
I am in a similar situation. It depends largely on the age of your child. My fourth grader takes healthy snacks and lunches, and often the other children ask about items they have never seen before, such as tofu, freeze-dried jackfruit, and roasted seaweed (something he eats every day for snack while the child next to him eats a 6-pack of oreos). By continuing to show positive examples to other kids, you can hopefully make small changes. Do send valentines without candy, and other non-food treats (which we do). I think it’s fair to send alternative treats for your kids for events, as parents of children with allergies would do. It might help to enlist those parents in pushing for non-food rewards, as their children often cannot partake in the junk food being served. Good luck!
Justin says
My daughter is enrolled in a preschool (3 y/o) program at a private daycare center (that we pay a *lot* of money for). When we originally toured the facility, we were told upfront that they celebrate all holidays and parents are allowed to bring in treats to celebrate birthdays…even homemade treats. I originally thought this was a good thing, not realizing that the holiday events would always involve food and that they’d literally put up a sign-up list requesting a lot of junk food and a few token “healthy” items like veggies and fruit. I knew there was a voluntary “hot lunch” program that was sub-par and I knew we had to supply all of her meals. For some reason or other, I was not told that older kids would be supplied with a “school snack” twice a day if they didn’t bring a snack or were still hungry after eating their snack from home.
In theory, I was okay with all of this (remember…I didn’t know about the junk food at the parties or consider the frequency). In practice, I started to notice that my daughter was getting regular access to things I would never give her on a regular basis at home. At one point, she figured out that if she told them she wasn’t hungry for her home snack, they’d give her something else at the next food break and that something else usually defeated the purpose of the dietary choice I had made when I packed her lunch that morning. In many cases, they were giving her items from outside the school snack program like leftover junk food from the latest party, Froot Loops leftover from a craft project (don’t get me started on food used as teaching aids), or donut holes that a parent brought in just to be nice. Educationally, they were undoing everything I was trying to model for her at home about healthy eating and junk food moderation. If I was trying to teach her that cookies are a “sometimes snack,” they were turning around and giving her a Nilla Wafer whenever she asked for it.
It took me awhile (and some discussion with a friend) to figure out exactly what the behavior was that I was angry about. It’s not like my kid was a stranger to junk food or non-organic-earthy-crunchy-choices and I didn’t intend for her to be. What bothered me was the poor educational example they were setting and the fact that they removed my parental choice from the equation. It was also affecting her medically, as she tends to have digestive problems if she’s eating a diet too heavy in carbs and too low in liquids.
I needed to take a stand, but I wasn’t willing to be “that parent” telling the Director that she didn’t know how to properly manage her Nutrition program. I also didn’t want to impose my views on other parents, since I felt as if my own views had been imposed upon. On the other hand, I didn’t want my kid to be the only one not able to much on a cookie while everyone else was.
I’m still working through this all, but in the long run, I figured that I really only have control over what *my* kid eats and that’s where I should focus my efforts. I can’t be waging the battle on behalf of other parents who just don’t care about the same battle I do. I’ve addressed anything that’s a medical concern directly with the teachers and I’ve had to be firm about it on more than one occasion. They know she’s not to be given other food if she hasn’t eaten what was sent from home. They know that I expect her to drink significantly more water or milk than a dixie cup full at meal times. And I regularly make sure these instructions are being followed. I’ve also mentioned to the director that I observed non-school-sanctioned foods (like Froot Loops and cookies) being served on a regular basis and I’ll keep making a stink about it until the practice is stopped.
To combat the slew of holidays, birthdays, etc., I’ve had to be a little more subtle and creative. Typically, if I know they’re going to be eating junk that day (they don’t always tell us), I’ll feed her something healthier before she leaves the house or pack a good solid meal for lunch, hoping to offset how much of the garbage she’ll eat. If they’re having a party, I sign-up for something that I know I can make healthier. For example, I may sign-up for “donuts” but then show-up with homemade banana bread baked in a donut pan, which at least has *some* nutritional value. Or I’ll sign-up for cookies, bake decorated sugar cookies (with whole ingredients) as a project with my daughter, and then package them individually so that the teacher has the option to send them home instead of serving them on top of all the other junk on the list. Are they that much healthier? No, not really. But by sending them home, I’m giving the other parents their right of choice back.
I guess what I’m saying is maybe you can win the smaller battles instead of trying to win the war. Start small. Make changes where you personally have control (or can assume control). Instead of trying to significantly change your district’s wellness policy, try encouraging them to follow what few standards they already have. They probably aren’t even doing that. Instead of trying to change a whole district, try to change your child’s classroom first. For example, if they’re having a birthday party every week, suggest they have one a month for all the kids who were born that month and suggest a treat other than cupcakes now and then. If they’re having a Pancake breakfast and you know they’re going to buy frozen Eggo’s, offer to provide whole wheat pancakes, real syrup, and OJ for the whole class (I almost did this recently).
Nicole says
Thanks for your comments. As a mother of a 2.5 year old in a great daycare with a decent food program, but with parties and holidays where junk is promoted, I am familiar with all the feelings and experiences you have. Thanks for some of your tips and for making me feel like I’m not alone!
Stacy @School-Bites.com says
DON’T GIVE UP!!! My school district is very diverse. Some parents are very nutrition minded and others don’t give a hoot. It varies widely from school to school. That said, I was not successful in getting parents (even the healthy ones) to join me in trying to change our junk food culture. They were either too busy or too apathetic. I saw our district wellness policy (which needed to be updated according to the Healthy, Hunger Free Kids Act of 2010) as an opportunity and got on the policy committee. We managed to get a stronger policy in place. I then teamed up with a registered dietitian at our local hospital to get a grant that allowed us to create a Healthy Classrooms Initiative that involved educating all district staff about nutrition. It has been transformational. My kids are at the school with the more nutrition-minded parents, so our approach might not have the same outcome in your community. But I think education can go a long way. Find whatever allies you can (health professionals dietitians, foundations, dentists). And when a door closes, look for a window and keep trying.
Aileen Chute says
Oi.
I have to say that if you are the truly the only one in a community who thinks as you do, and it is harming your kids, you are better off just leaving if that is an option. If you’re not seeing eye to eye about nutrition in schools, you probably aren’t seeing eye to eye about most things. Why live your life that way? We ourselves have spent many years trying to change our rural, conservative community to be what we wanted it to be, getting elected to commissions and boards and constantly being sidelined… we finally realized that they did not want our “help” and that we should find people who do. We’re in the process of selling our house, which has been in the family for more than 30 years, and moving to a community which is much more like minded. This may seem defeatist. But our kids are getting older and nothing has changed and they won’t ever move back here because, who would? Sometimes cutting your losses is the best way to move forward.
Casey says
Having lived in Kentucky for 13 years, I say keep speaking up. When I mentioned my concerns about school fast food fundraisers, one PTA president told me I should homeschool my kids if I didn’t like it. I kept attending PTA meetings, school board meetings, and school council meetings presenting the research which shows why school wellness is in the best interest of students. Eventually more people started to recognize the importance of strong school wellness policies. If you don’t keep speaking up for these kids, who will?
Cathy Donovan says
Other sources for partners in this battle is your local medical facility (Are they interested in sponsoring some education on childhood obesity? Are there employees such as medical staff, nurses, physical therapists and dieticians who have kids at the school and are willing to join the battle? etc) and the coaches. I recall once when the Sr high baseball team had a clinic and lunch for elem kids and none of those highschool boys took a single piece of fruit (hot dogs, chips and fruit) until I pointed that out to the coach. He quietly ordered them all back for fruit to set a good example.
Ellen says
Thank you to all of you! I truly appreciate all of these comments, suggestions, & empathy. I was so dismayed at this experience, and consequently feel very much the outsider in my community. I am leaning toward open enrollment in another school district, which is only 5 minutes farther away, yet several decades ahead in terms of health & wellness. Like Aileen said, if I’m not seeing eye to eye on nutrition, I’m probably not seeing eye to eye on other topics. This is exactly correct. I have investigated the Language Arts Programs, as well as Sports & Extracurriculars at current district and in neighboring district, with very different results. Current district uses basal readers & teachers use scripted texts. Neighboring district uses authentic literature, teachers do not use a script. Neighboring District is larger and offers many more types of sports and extracurriculars. I would assume that variety would also extend into high school academic offerings as well. I also believe that an “A” in current district would not be an “A” in neighboring district– so the issue of academic rigor also arises. The bottom line is that if the standards are low for nutrition and health, they are also low for academics, and in my opinion progressive & forward thinking. Open enrollment seems to be the answer, but we will have to reapply each year. If that proves unsustainable, I am glad I have all these wonderful suggestions from you TLT readers!
Bettina Elias Siegel says
Just wanted to thank all of the readers who took the time to share their stories and advice with Ellen. And I hope this post and the comments are useful to other readers experiencing similar obstacles.
bw1 says
The real lesson here is, understand the culture of a community before you locate there. People tend to cluster with like-minded people, and it makes for a much more amicable world. Those with sufficient education to have a good understanding of nutrition, typically have options in where they live.
I used to live in a community that you and most of your readers would love. I moved, and I’m much happier now.
Bettina Elias Siegel says
And yet in your online life, you continue to seek out this community, with which you so vociferously disagree.
Kate says
HA! Touché Bettina. And thank you for helping me increase my vocabulary! vociferously! Awesome!
bw1 says
Ever hear the saying “It’s a nice place to visit, but I wouldn’t want to live there?”
There is much here with which to agree. We probably feed our children very similar diets. I share your skepticism about claims that serving kids junk food is a financial necessity for school systems – I can even rebut those claims better than you ever could. I have a friend who was the food service director for a school district, who made most of the changes you would like to see and increased voluntary participation to 95%, all while returning a net profit to the district’s general fund sufficient to fund two certified teacher FTE’s the first year and 3 the second year, but who, if the school thought to inspect and judge her own kids’ home packed lunches, would probably have led a pitchforks and torches charge on the school
board.
The difference lies in that, while I agree with most of your nutritional choices, I don’t seek to use government to make forcible impositions upon others to follow, support, or assist me in following them. You have some good ideas, but when you presume to impose them on others, you go too far.
It’s important to note that, if the government had taken the heavy hand you desire 30 years ago when the vaunted experts were all so enamored of carbohydrates, we’d have far more of an obesity problem today than we do. This is a huge part of the problem with your approach – the science of nutrition is far from settled, and every week we see the results of new research telling us that something everyone knew to be true last week is false. Your approach would crowd out all other ideas by the government imposing the beliefs of the loudest complainers.
There are plenty of things in the public schools to which I would prefer my children not be exposed – I get that part. To that end, I plan on them going to private school. You’re free to find a private school where your child will never have a classmate offer him a cupcake, and I’ll fight tooth and nail to see that every dime of state money follows him to that school.
Given that you’re a liberal in Texas, it’s highly probable that someday, the state is going to make an imposition that conflicts with your parenting choices. When that day comes, I’ll gladly stand up for your rights, but I’ll also remind you that you’re being hoist on your own petard.