Family dinner is a big topic here on TLT — we all know it’s important, but making it a reality on a busy weeknight can challenge the best of us. So I was pleased to see that a new book had come out called The Family Dinner: Great Ways to Connect with Your Kids, One Meal at a Time, a treasure trove of tips, recipes, advice and insights to help families get back to this important ritual. What surprised me, though, was who had written the book — Laurie David, better known as an environmental activist and executive producer of the Oscar-winning “An Inconvenient Truth.”
Laurie and her co-author, chef Kirstin Uhrenholdt, were nice enough to let me interview them to learn more. Yesterday I posted my exchange with Kirstin, and if you haven’t read it, check it out and you’ll get four great weeknight recipes in the bargain! Today I speak with Laurie David:
TLT: Given your background in environmental advocacy, I think a lot of people might be surprised to hear that you’ve written a book about family dinners. What prompted you to write “The Family Dinner?”
LD: Actually I was surprised myself when I started writing The Family Dinner but soon thereafter I had this big “A-ha” moment when I realized that all of the environmental issues I care about actually cross the dinner plate. Then it all made sense to me. What we eat, how we eat, where we eat, are all health, environmental and family issues.
TLT: What was your goal in writing the book? What do you hope readers will get out of it?
LD: My goal in writing the book was to share all the tips, recipes, games and wisdom I have learned over the last decade to get and KEEP my family at the dinner table. As a young mom I was kind of desperate for some happy family moments and I realized that they don’t usually show up all on their own, you have to create them – or at the very least, create an opportunity for them to bloom. I hope that The Family Dinner’s recipes will be made in the kitchen and then the book will brought to the dinner table to help get a great dinner conversation started, which will lead to a most memorable meal. I hope The Family Dinner is well-tabbed, marked, food stained and loved.
TLT: What are some the dinner games and conversation starters you suggest in your book, and why did you include them?
LD: I could never just look at a meal as a time to refuel. For me it’s an opportunity to accomplish something. To connect, to teach, to share values. So dinner talk is that chance. It’s easy to get good table talk going if you have a little help in the form of questions, games, newspaper articles, books with fun statistics, things like that. The Family Dinner is full of those ideas.
TLT: Since instituting regular family dinners in your own home, what benefits have you seen?
LD: My daughters are now teenagers so I can clearly see the benefits of having insisted on the ritual of dinner for many, many years. First, I see them everyday because they know they have to show up for dinner. I know what they are eating for dinner and in my house that is fresh, organic, mostly veggies and grains. They get a break from all of their technology and homework. We talk, and that’s a biggie. But I think parents will see the benefit of this ritual after each and every meal. Family dinner is how we civilize our children. It is how we get them into good habits like drinking water with supper, saying please and thank you, learning how to listen and take turns. It’s how we pass on our family histories.
TLT: What’s been the hardest challenge in having regular family dinners in your own home?
LD: As with most people, the biggest challenge is finding the time to make a good dinner. My suggestion for this is to shift our idea of dinner is: It can be black bean soup and a crunchy salad or scrambled eggs with chopped broccoli and ezekiel toast. Also, I have learned to double recipes and make food that can last a few days. We have lots of those ideas in the book as well as simple ingredients you can add to something to change it’s taste with just a little effort.
TLT: How do you manage to continue to have regular family dinners as your children get older? What do you do when your kids are involved in activities and social events that might conflict with dinner?
LD: I think because I set up this pattern as a non-negotiable, this is how it has remained. But come Friday night, I’m pretty used to my kids heading out to friend’s houses. Also, neither of my kids play organized sports and that has helped make sure everyone is home in time. But remember, there was a time when sports practice, or any practice, wasn’t scheduled during dinner. That is a modern shift.
TLT: Is there anything else you’d like to tell Lunch Tray readers about the book or family dinners generally?
LD: Just that there has been so much research done on the importance of family dinner and it all points to the fact that it is the most important activity a family can do! Not only is it physically nourishing but it’s emotionally nourishing as well. I hope that this book will inspire families to get back to the table and turn their cell phones and televisions off. Family dinner makes a difference!
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Grace @eatdinner says
Love it! (Of course). BTW I’ve been conducting a family dinner survey and when asked what the “most helpful strategy” is to accomplishing family dinner, the number one response is “making the commitment.” Making family dinner a non-negotiable, a “given,” helps gets kids and adults to the table!
Nilam says
Bettina, what a fun and interesting interview. Even with my hubbie and I, “family” meals are important, it’s such a great way to connect and unwind. Plus meal-planning allows you (or your whole family) to possibly look forward to meals. Family meals were a requirement (there was simply no other option) growing up and looking back those were some of my best and worst memories with my siblings. I would also add that family meals set the norm, and can help children build skills so they are more comfortable with meal planning, cooking, and prepping foods as they grow up to be adults. This post really made me smile!
Bettina Elias Siegel says
Nilam – I’m so glad, and thank you for the kind words! I just read a lovely post by eatdinner.org and she makes the important point that “family” dinner might mean two roommates, or three friends, or two spouses, or whatever. It’s just the act of cooking and breaking bread together that’s so important. Thank you for this comment. You made my day!
jenna Food w/ Kid Appeal says
i can’t imagine life without family dinner/meals. i protect our family meal times fiercely. where we can refuel with fresh, real food and nothing else matters besides connecting with the three people in the universe i love the most.
Bettina Elias Siegel says
Aw, so nice, Jenna! Your family is lucky that you make it such a priority, because I know how busy you are.